The Free Man
Journals

Essays on becoming a man of integrity.

Thoughtful writing about men's work, self-mastery, purpose, and moving from consumption to connection.

Men's Work

What Is Men’s Work? A Guide to Self-Mastery, Purpose & Integrity

For a long time, I thought freedom meant being able to do whatever I wanted. I wanted freedom to travel, freedom from bosses, freedom from commitment, freedom to pursue pleasure, and freedom to keep my options open. Like many men, I associated freedom with having as few restrictions placed on my...

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Recent essays

Purpose

When Success Is No Longer Enough: Finding Meaning in Your Next Career Chapter

Self-Mastery

On Fear — And How Facing It Can Change Your Life

Self-Mastery

Freedom Requires the Ability to Be Uncomfortable

Self-Mastery

Why Inner Peace Is a Form of Strength

Men's Work

The Difference Between Coaching and Therapy

Self-Mastery

What I Learned From Writing a Gratitude List Every Day

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Self-Mastery

Articles on discipline, attention, emotional regulation, and becoming the man who leads himself.

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Purpose

Essays on meaning, direction, career, and building a life rooted in something larger than yourself.

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Desexualization

Practical writing on moving from consumption to connection, integrity, and freedom from compulsion.

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Men's Work

Foundational essays on what men's work is, why it matters, and how men grow together.

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Self-Mastery

Self-Mastery

Self-Mastery

On Fear — And How Facing It Can Change Your Life

Disclaimer: When I talk about fear in this article, I’m mostly referring to learned fears and imagined consequences, rather than the survival-based fear that exists to protect us from immediate danger.

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Self-Mastery

Freedom Requires the Ability to Be Uncomfortable

As a species, we are naturally inclined to avoid pain. For obvious reasons, this has been rather useful for our survival.

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Self-Mastery

Why Inner Peace Is a Form of Strength

Finding a sense of inner peace has been one of the greatest blessings of my life thus far.

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Purpose

Purpose

Purpose

When Success Is No Longer Enough: Finding Meaning in Your Next Career Chapter

There is a particular kind of career problem that tends to emerge after you've achieved at least some of the things you once wanted.

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Purpose

Creative Expression and Our Spirit(uality)

When people think of the word “creativity”, they typically relate it to something artistic, or someone artistic, hence the term “a creative”, which usually represents someone working in the arts.

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Purpose

The Real Cost of Productivity

This is such a vast topic, and the word “productivity” itself will mean different things to different people. If you’re a 25-year-old working professional, effective productivity might mean figuring out how to get more done in less time. If you’re a 45-year-old entrepreneur, it might mean figuring...

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Desexualization

Desexualization

Desexualization

How to Stop Watching Porn: Why Quitting Is Only the Beginning

At that age, I had no idea what kind of influence it would have on the years that followed. I wasn't thinking about sexual conditioning, intimacy, objectification, or how pornography might affect the way I related to women. I was a teenage boy discovering sexuality, and pornography became part of...

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Desexualization

How to Desexualize Your Brain: A Practical Guide for Men

At the time, I didn't think much of it. Like many teenage boys, I was curious about sex, attracted to women, and suddenly had access to something that previous generations could never have imagined. I certainly wasn't thinking about what repeatedly watching pornography might be teaching me about...

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Desexualization

How to Stop Sexualizing Women: From Objectification to Connection

For years, I didn't fully realize how much of my attention around women was organized around sexuality. I had started watching pornography at 14, during some of the most formative years of my understanding of sex, women, and relationships. Over time, pornography, movies, cultural messages, fantasy,...

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Men's Work

Men's Work

Men's Work

The Difference Between Coaching and Therapy

Here’s another secret: I used to think therapy was bullshit too. And yes, you guessed it, that was before I gave therapy a real chance and eventually found the right therapists and forms of therapy for me.

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Men's Work

What Is Men’s Work? A Guide to Self-Mastery, Purpose & Integrity

For a long time, I thought freedom meant being able to do whatever I wanted. I wanted freedom to travel, freedom from bosses, freedom from commitment, freedom to pursue pleasure, and freedom to keep my options open. Like many men, I associated freedom with having as few restrictions placed on my...

Read essay
View all Men's Work